Munich Applause?

January 26, 2008


What the holy fuck? Man City’s Supporter’s Club has asked United to replace their intended minute’s silence in honor of the 23 lives lost in the 1958 Munich air disaster with a moment of applause? Is this really something somebody over at City put pen to paper and wrote down and though “yeah, this is a great idea!”? They can’t really be publicly saying that they don’t feel that they will be able to resist singing songs to deliberately slander the dead while the stadium is quiet?

Can they?

In the words of City’s supporter club spokesman Kevin Parker:

    “If Manchester United played Liverpool on the anniversary of the Hillsborough disaster, I’m sure that they wouldn’t hold a minute’s silence.

I’m sure they would now consider holding a minute’s applause instead. It’s the reality of the situation. We can’t be wrong for asking Manchester United to consider this.”

As far as United marring a respectful moment for those lost at Hillsborough Stadium in a hypothetical pairing, Fergie spoke up earlier in the week to the effect that:

‘From a United standpoint, whatever rivalry there might have been in the past clearly no longer exists’.

Doesn’t sound like there’s enough animosity there to drive something like what City says they won’t possibly be able to resist, does there?


Wow. Can’t be wrong huh?


Viper Showdown

January 21, 2008

Researchers in the UK have recently completed field tests to assess exactly how fast Portuguese winger Cristiano Ronaldo really is. Under the strictest of scientific controls, a touch-line race was conducted between C. Ronaldo and a 987 hp Bugatti Veyron. Needless to say, my man won hands down. This however got me thinking, how would the Viper stand up in a Viper Showdown.


Winner: Cristiano Ronaldo by a landslide. Know why? It doesn’t have anything to do with the fancy chart above, it’s all about the videos under the cut.

Read the rest of this entry »

The Ferguson-Warren Theory

December 29, 2007

Since Sir Alex Ferguson’s appointment to the position of Manager for Manchester United in 1986, football fans have been impressed with Fergie’s ability to find talented young players and massage them into a side the can dominate the pitch. The debate rages over whether his championship teams are a result of his inspired training regimens or simply his ability to find players with incredible amounts of raw talent.

Could it be that Ferguson’s edge lies in a secret cache of potential player data known to the rest of the world as the eHarmony’s compatibility surveys? Could it be that Sir Alex Ferguson is none other that Dr. Neil Clark Warren?

neil-warren-de.jpeg alex_ferguson.gif

In case you are not yet convinced, here are 5 facts supporting the Ferguson-Warren Theory.

  1. Fergie and Warren have never once been photographed in the same room.
  2. Sir Alex Ferguson” and “Neil Clark Warren” both have 15 letters.
  3. eHarmony is built upon 29 dimensions of compatibility, Man Utd is built upon 29 Premier League, FA Cup and League Cup honors.
  4. Look at them for Christ’s sake! They could be twins!
  5. Fergie takes a hard line stance on players that think they are bigger than the team, Warren takes a hard line stance on relationship seekers that think gay sex is better with you work with a team.


December 27, 2007

My name is Skip, and I’m a football-holic.

Normally this isn’t a cardinal sin, except I live in the one country in the world where, to the vast majority of my countrymen, the word football conjures up images of large steroid infused men in helmets, pads, and all manner of protective gear throwing a ball shaped like a pinched loaf to each other in very short intervals, making sure to take proper breaks for ass-grabbery and doing all sorts of ADD manipulation with the time clock.

But I digress. It’s not easy being a fan of Premier League football in the States. Even the fact that I happen to be a fan of the greatest club in the world doesn’t make it any less frustrating when I have to watch games that air at 7 am on a Sunday or else avoid all things internet-enabled unless I want my home page to throw spoilers in my face in an attempt to be helpful.

Which brings me to United Yank. Welcome to my little soapbox. Expect Man United and Premier League news, a dissection and discussion of the sport from an American fan’s perspective and a healthy dollop of debate.

Whether you are just curious about soccer or a longtime football fan, a Yank or a fog-breather, a United supporter or a fan of one of those other clubs, I encourage you to add your two cents (.01 pounds?).

If I make even one person a fan of the beautiful game, thats one less empty seat at the pub on match day.

-Skip Jenkins