Man Utd 2 – Portsmouth 0

February 1, 2008

No time for a lengthy post because I’ve got an indoor game tonight (plus the season 4 premier of Lost), so I’ll just say that the boys in red are at the top of the league again, exactly where they should be. Arsenal is tied, but thats as far as they are going to get. Chelsea is making me nervous, but fuck em, they can’t get ahead.

If you doubt that United will get the job done, check out this video of my man Ronaldo scoring his most recent 2 at Old Trafford. Textbook penalty kick. Beautiful.


Munich Applause?

January 26, 2008


What the holy fuck? Man City’s Supporter’s Club has asked United to replace their intended minute’s silence in honor of the 23 lives lost in the 1958 Munich air disaster with a moment of applause? Is this really something somebody over at City put pen to paper and wrote down and though “yeah, this is a great idea!”? They can’t really be publicly saying that they don’t feel that they will be able to resist singing songs to deliberately slander the dead while the stadium is quiet?

Can they?

In the words of City’s supporter club spokesman Kevin Parker:

    “If Manchester United played Liverpool on the anniversary of the Hillsborough disaster, I’m sure that they wouldn’t hold a minute’s silence.

I’m sure they would now consider holding a minute’s applause instead. It’s the reality of the situation. We can’t be wrong for asking Manchester United to consider this.”

As far as United marring a respectful moment for those lost at Hillsborough Stadium in a hypothetical pairing, Fergie spoke up earlier in the week to the effect that:

‘From a United standpoint, whatever rivalry there might have been in the past clearly no longer exists’.

Doesn’t sound like there’s enough animosity there to drive something like what City says they won’t possibly be able to resist, does there?


Wow. Can’t be wrong huh?

Weekend Wrap-up Week 23

January 22, 2008

At the end of week 23, Manchester United managed to hold onto the top spot in the Premier League over 2nd ranked Arsenal! With both the Red Devils and the Gunners holding 54 league points, last week’s United’s 6-0 stomping over a pre-Keegan Newcastle proved to make all the difference in the world with only a 5 point goal differential difference between the top two contenders. I’d hate to see what kind of offensive gesture Sir Alex would have made had Ronaldo not made that 90th minute goal. (Edit: It seems the FA decided that Reading fans were calling wolf.)


In non-United news…

  • Chelsea took a late 1-0 lead over 16th ranked Birmingham despite the fact that they squeaked by without playing at Premier League level
  • Blackburn and Middlesbrough both showed up and got suited up before showing 21,687 supporters of both sides that you really can eat a whole tin of Tums during a 1-1 drawn match
  • Benjamin Mwaruwari struck his second hat trick of the season for Portsmouth in a 3-1 victory against relegation-bound Derby
  • Irish striker Robbie Keane scored his 100th goal for Tottenham, sealing the deal in a 2-0 victory over Sunderland
  • Kevin Keegan took over the helm for Newcastle to the tune of a nil-nil draw versus Bolton in a middle of the road match between two middle of the road sides
  • Everton’s 2-1 win over Wigan brought them up to 4th place in the BPL standings, though 5th ranked Liverpool does have a game in hand
  • Man City and West Ham faced off for the second time this week, resulting in a 1-1 draw that was surely more pleasing to Manager Alan Curbishley after West Ham’s defeat in Wednesday’s FA Cup match
  • In another example of how important goal-differential can be, Liverpool (40 pts, 21 GD) moves up to 5th position over Aston Villa (40 pts, 12 GD) as the result of a 2-2 draw.

All in all, it was a beautiful weekend to be a Yank in love with the beautiful game. Unless you were a Derby fan, but what’s new?

Viper Showdown

January 21, 2008

Researchers in the UK have recently completed field tests to assess exactly how fast Portuguese winger Cristiano Ronaldo really is. Under the strictest of scientific controls, a touch-line race was conducted between C. Ronaldo and a 987 hp Bugatti Veyron. Needless to say, my man won hands down. This however got me thinking, how would the Viper stand up in a Viper Showdown.


Winner: Cristiano Ronaldo by a landslide. Know why? It doesn’t have anything to do with the fancy chart above, it’s all about the videos under the cut.

Read the rest of this entry »

The Ferguson-Warren Theory

December 29, 2007

Since Sir Alex Ferguson’s appointment to the position of Manager for Manchester United in 1986, football fans have been impressed with Fergie’s ability to find talented young players and massage them into a side the can dominate the pitch. The debate rages over whether his championship teams are a result of his inspired training regimens or simply his ability to find players with incredible amounts of raw talent.

Could it be that Ferguson’s edge lies in a secret cache of potential player data known to the rest of the world as the eHarmony’s compatibility surveys? Could it be that Sir Alex Ferguson is none other that Dr. Neil Clark Warren?

neil-warren-de.jpeg alex_ferguson.gif

In case you are not yet convinced, here are 5 facts supporting the Ferguson-Warren Theory.

  1. Fergie and Warren have never once been photographed in the same room.
  2. Sir Alex Ferguson” and “Neil Clark Warren” both have 15 letters.
  3. eHarmony is built upon 29 dimensions of compatibility, Man Utd is built upon 29 Premier League, FA Cup and League Cup honors.
  4. Look at them for Christ’s sake! They could be twins!
  5. Fergie takes a hard line stance on players that think they are bigger than the team, Warren takes a hard line stance on relationship seekers that think gay sex is better with you work with a team.

I Love Boxing Day

December 28, 2007

It seems Christmas came on the 26th this year!

Man United’s 4-0 victory over 19th ranked Sunderland, coupled with Arsenal’s 0-0 tie against 7th ranked Portsmouth, gave the Red Devils a boost to the top of the Premier League rankings over the Gunners just in time to proclaim their dominance for the second 19 games.

With Arsenal facing some tough upcoming matches, including December 29th game against 6th ranked Everton, it remains to be seen if Wenger’s side can pull enough league points out of their collective asses before mid-May.

I’d like to say that, for sporting’s sake, the Championship isn’t a two horse race, but I’m not nearly so nervous when I hear of a Chelsea, Liverpool, Man City or Everton win.

A video of the all 4 United goals are under the cut.

Read the rest of this entry »


December 27, 2007

My name is Skip, and I’m a football-holic.

Normally this isn’t a cardinal sin, except I live in the one country in the world where, to the vast majority of my countrymen, the word football conjures up images of large steroid infused men in helmets, pads, and all manner of protective gear throwing a ball shaped like a pinched loaf to each other in very short intervals, making sure to take proper breaks for ass-grabbery and doing all sorts of ADD manipulation with the time clock.

But I digress. It’s not easy being a fan of Premier League football in the States. Even the fact that I happen to be a fan of the greatest club in the world doesn’t make it any less frustrating when I have to watch games that air at 7 am on a Sunday or else avoid all things internet-enabled unless I want my home page to throw spoilers in my face in an attempt to be helpful.

Which brings me to United Yank. Welcome to my little soapbox. Expect Man United and Premier League news, a dissection and discussion of the sport from an American fan’s perspective and a healthy dollop of debate.

Whether you are just curious about soccer or a longtime football fan, a Yank or a fog-breather, a United supporter or a fan of one of those other clubs, I encourage you to add your two cents (.01 pounds?).

If I make even one person a fan of the beautiful game, thats one less empty seat at the pub on match day.

-Skip Jenkins